Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
