I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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