I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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