drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
My vagina just recognized that song.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
