I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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