playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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