Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
