Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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