yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
