WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
time to smoke my breakfast
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
