This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
