i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize