a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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