HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
