Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
