i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
