I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
