we're blogging at a bar
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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