just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
