i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
