32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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