Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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