im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
Randomize
