Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
you will always have a special place in my vag
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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