I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
