found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
