Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
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