Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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