Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Randomize
