You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
