No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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