i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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