Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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