Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
