Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Just took my morning after pill in the library
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
