hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize