i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
