Will you blow on my dice?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
