there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
