R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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