all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
