pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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