How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
