i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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