Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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