I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Come on in and take your pants off
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