I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
