What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
