well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
