i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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