My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
