We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
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