do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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