it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize