I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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