your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Randomize
