Sober January is a disaster.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
